You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize