i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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