the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
