so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
3pm strippers are depressing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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