I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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