Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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