Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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