I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
