the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
