You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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