wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
