Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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