is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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