Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
