I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i believe in u and ur pee
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
