A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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