I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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