If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
