i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
