As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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