youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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