Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
