Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
