did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
