This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
