where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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