the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
