Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
