we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
