First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
