Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
