You made me cry and you don't even care
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Four minutes until I can fart!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
