i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
