that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
