so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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