Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
