Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
