If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
