And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
