I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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