There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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