Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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