Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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