Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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