I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
