Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
