i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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