I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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