So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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