hotel room ftw
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
