someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
