She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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