Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
