Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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