Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
