i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
