Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize