It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
