pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
