I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize