I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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