Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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