I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His nipple licking is glorious
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