we're chasing vodka with high fives
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
